nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
