My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
