i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
