I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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