wake up i wanna do it froggy style
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
