what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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