Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
