Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
