my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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