Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
