You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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