just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
