i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
