I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
