So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
