Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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