He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
