I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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