It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You smell like stripper and shame
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
