I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
