I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
