only if we run a train.
done.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
