she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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