Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
