Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
