Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
operation have a gay friend backfired
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
