why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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