Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
