Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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