If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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