So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
