bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
