I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
