She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Text me some of your sweat
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
