don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
