I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my shit smells like andre
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
