What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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