Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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