..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
