What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
