At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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