For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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