I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
