The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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