I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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