I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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