Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
