Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
