is your mom at the bar?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
