he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
