You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
